Spirit of Evil (Prison Life)

THE SPIRIT OF EVIL

So you think you're bad, huh!? You do a little coke, smoke some weed and hang around with what you think is the “in” crowd. Well, let me tell you who I am? I am the Spirit of Evil and prison is my home. Come, take my hand....if you dare! I will take you to the depths of despair and agony. I will show you what your future may be like.

Look! Look! Over there! You will live in a cell similar to that one. Look at how cramped and suffocating it is. The bed, the toilet, the table, and the locker, all within a couple of feet of each other. In the winter it gets freezing cold and in the summer, unbearably hot. You throw water on yourself and on the floor to keep the heat down but it only gets worse as the steam rises from the hot cement floor. This is where you will live for years upon years.

You'll pace the floor as many others have before you, wearing down the cement smooth and shiny. You'll re-live that fateful day in which you committed the crime that brought you here and you'll kick yourself in the ass over and over for being so stupid. “Just one more chance, if I could only re-live that day over again”, you'll say. But it's too late for that now. You should have thought about that before; you should have listened to the people who were trying to steer you right. But no, you think you're so smart and that you know everything.

And don't think you'll have the cell all to yourself. No. You will have a cell-mate. He may be a fat sweaty slob who does nothing but fart all the time or has some annoying habits. Or maybe it'll be some sick m....f with a crazed look in his eyes that's full of anger and hate and is ready to go off. Or it could be a pervert that might want to have some fun with you. So.....take your pick.....whom do you want as a cell-mate?

You will spend many an hour in your cell and can possibly go stir-crazy. Especially during lock-downs when you're in there 24 hours a day, only coming out to take a ten minute shower every other day.

Every day will be the same; the days will turn to weeks, then months, then years. You'll wish that the time will go by fast but as it does, one day you'll look in the mirror and see gray hairs and wrinkles that weren't there before. Some bitterness and anger will show.... although there will be peace too.

There'll be days when you're walking down the hall and all of a sudden you'll hear, “AGAINST THE WALL! AGAINST THE WALL! And everybody will stand with their backsagainst the wall and look one way and then the other to see where the incident occurred. Within a short time a motorized gurney will pass with some poor soul on it. He'll either be dead or dying and you'll wonder whether it's his good luck or bad that for him it might all be over.

At night there will be times when you won't be able to sleep. You'll toss and turn reliving your life over and over again trying to pinpoint the exact time when you life took that wrong turn that eventually led you here. But you'll realize that there was no one point, it was a series of events and situations that made you who you are. When you finally go to sleep you'll wake up and find reality. The reality of screams, terrifying shouts of agony. Then other screams will fill the night, screams whose sole purpose is to drown out the screams of that poor guy who's getting raped. The other screams are so that the guards won't hear the screams of the fellow getting raped.

If your not married you can forget about feeling the sensuous love of a woman. You'll daydream about all the women you've had. You'll think about that one special love of your life and your heart will ache – a painful indescribable ache. You'll hear a song that reminds you of some special time and again you'll feel that ache. Your heart will break in a thousand pieces....on piece at a time.... while it is turning to stone.

So, my friend, consider yourself lucky for I have shown you a glimpse of what your future may be like. You are the Master of your own life. Your actions now dictate where you will be in the future. It's YOUR choice.

I originally wrote this while taking a correspondence writing course in Deuel Vocational Institution (D.V.I., Gladiator School in Tracy, CA.) in September, 1991. It was eventually used in the “Scared Straight “ prison program. A program that tries to steer youngsters that are on the wrong path unto the right one. Law officers bring in kids into the prison and the “Scared Straight” group tries to scare them straight.